More Some Side Effects of Prostate Radiation that Oncologists Kind of Tell you About; or, The Four Horsemen of the Sexual Apocalypse, Part V Journey Into the Land of Eroxonin
Floppy Regain (2022) Brooke Benington
In a prostate survivor’s quest for the perfect post-Lupron stiffy, one may discover Eroxonin. I first came upon it on a YouTube video. It sounded too good to be true, but I thought what’s to lose at this point? So, I began doing some research. Online, I discovered “Eroxonin Stimulating Gel for Men - Male Massage Cream Helps Restore Your Confidence, 1.75 Fl Oz Sale price $89.99 Regular price $149.99.” Wow and $60 off. The pitch sounded just short of miraculous…
FEATURES:
EFFECTIVE PRODUCT - Eroxonin Stimulating Gel for Man is the newest, most effective, and perfect product that helps restore your confidence.
PERFECT QUALITY - The formula of Eroxonin Stimulating Gel for Man is the most concentrated and the most improved of all products in this category.
NEW SENSATIONS - With Eroxonin Stimulating Gel for Man your life will be refreshed and definitely bring something positive into your self-esteem.
NATURAL INGREDIENTS - Eroxonin Stimulating Gel for Man provides nutrients necessary to the male body part. All natural herbal extracts into one formula.
EASY TO USE - Apply Eroxonin to clean dry skin and rub with light massaging movements.
I was curious as to how this gel would “restore my confidence” or “bring something positive into my self-esteem” especially since I wasn’t interested in boosting my confidence or self-esteem, but in getting an erection stiff enough for penetration. Duh. And I wondered if I no longer needed to “pump iron” (off and on after forty years) if this was going to “boost muscle strength” unless they were talking about a muscle with which I was unfamiliar. I was also taken by the fact they avoided using the word “penis” preferring instead the somewhat lame phrase, “male body part” and that it should be applied to “clean dry skin.” Of course. As opposed to what? Wet skin? And to what other body part might they be alluding? Ear lobes? It almost sounded as if they were censoring their own ad. Still engaged, I decided to read a review…
“Does nothing complete waste of time and money. I tried it 4 times nothing happened. I asked another friend in his 20s to try it 3 times again nothing. Then the person I bought it for he does have ED from medication again nothing four times.”
But even though it scored a one star 46% of the time, I thought I’d give it a shot if only as an experiment. After all, if Lous Pasteur or Jonas Salk didn’t experiment where would we be now? Results of said experiment in soon-to-be-released blog post.